HolyShitKorea!

I spend a lot of my time in Korea waiting. To be more precise, I spend a lot of my time at school waiting, and I spend a lot of my time in Korea at school. Most days I’m here from 8:30am to 5:30pm (on Mondays and Fridays I get to go home at 4:30pm). I only teach a maximum of 3 hours and 45 minutes on my busiest day, and 2 hours and 15 minutes on my lightest. As long as I am using my computer, there is no rule about what I should be doing. The Korean teachers do a lot of online shopping and banking, eating, and (in a lot of cases) sleeping at their desks. I come up with my lesson for the upcoming week, make copies, check my email 5 or 6 times, and then turn to Facebook. Not counting lunch and the half hour each day I spend “supervising” the “cleaning” of the mostly unused “English room,” that’s at least 3 hours a day of doing absolutely nothing. At first I loved it. It was fairly low pressure, and as soon as I accepted that I would never really feel prepared for class no matter how much time I spent in advance, I could relax. Now though, I’m just really, really bored.  I get dirty looks if I try to read a book or knit, and there is no chance I could get away with bringing my laptop into school. I am so tired of staring at my computer.

I’m in a little bit of a funk today. I have a cold and I didn’t sleep well. It’s been raining for three days and my socks are wet. There’s an electric heater set up near my desk, but all the windows are open in the teachers’ lounge (even though I shut them all this morning). The teachers are walking around in coats and hats and shivering dramatically at me in a cheerful pantomime of what I can only assume is “cold enough for you?” or something along those lines. This makes no sense!!!

I’m probably in more than a little bit of a funk. I lost my temper with a classful of first (7th) graders today. I yelled at them and made them sit in silence for five minutes before I continued my lecture. My coteacher told me they were “trembling” and I could only think good . This is one of my worst classes, and by some unhappy coincidence it directly follows my favorite class of the week. The sense of well-being and connection and triumph I have after a successful class with my brilliant second graders just gets lost in battling with these little monsters. I feel like I should be above this irritation. I can crush them and punish them all hour, but I don’t want to do that. I could play games every week, but that’s a complete waste of time and leaves half of them out anyway. It makes me crazy that I automatically get less respect for being a foreign teacher. It also makes me grateful I was never a teenage boy.

We talk about culture shock as something that happens when you step off the plane, but I don’t think it works that way. There’s a lot of excitement mixed with all the new food and language and customs at first, and that makes it different, but not shocking. The shock comes a few months later when you realize that you’re really not leaving. That whether you can like it or romanticize it or even appreciate it or not, you’re stuck here for a while. I am stuck here for a while. And I guarantee that in a few days the sun will come back out and I’ll have a class where everything just works and I will love this place again. For now I’m grumpy and freezing and sniffly and I miss home.

I miss you.

Well, my birthday has once again come and gone, and I had a spectacular time! The birthday itself was a surprisingly easy day at school, and we were even able to head home a couple of hours early. Then that evening I went out with my general teachers class. They treated me to Gamja Tang (my new favorite food) and beer, and then took me to a karaoke room for singing and cake. You have not lived until you have seen middle aged women vamp and preen and dance while singing korean pop music at the top of their lungs STONE COLD SOBER. I have never seen anyone sing karaoke sober.

The next day was yoga followed by a trip to the bathhouse with Stephanie and Sunny. I met another nice old lady in lacy underwear who scraped all the dead skin off my body and washed my hair, with the bonus of seeing the oldest woman in the world getting the same treatment. She was ancient. She was a crone. She had more wrinkles than I have ever seen on anybody ever. It was actually kind of great. Then I moved on to the salt baths where another older lady sidled up next to me in the pool to discuss whether or not Americans really like hot water. She kept putting her hand on my knee and shoulder and gesturing at my hair. It was hard not to laugh at the ridiculousness of the situation.

Saturday was long and lazy with bike rides and beaches and coffee shop conversation, and visitors from afar (thanks Nate and Josh). Then in the evening we all got together to eat “pumpkin duck,” which is a duck (big surprise), cut into cubes and baked inside a butternut squash. Then the squash is cut open into petals, with the duck served in the middle. It is incredible. From there, we headed to the beach where we had a sneaky bonfire complete with s’mores and cheap fireworks. It was a lot like home, and I was left feeling happy and lucky and full. I wish you were here.

I am terrible with photo posts, but I figured even a poor photo post is better than no photo post. Also, you can head over to Mike’s blog when you’re done here for a better effort.

The first two photos are from our first weekend in Gangneung, hiking with our friends Mihyun and Ben. We climbed Ulsanbawi in Seoraksan National Park. The climb was gorgeous, but the last leg was 880 stairs (I counted). I was the weakest link and had a fantastic view of the rest of my party’s rear ends the entire time.

The next two are views of my lovely little city from a hill behind our apartment. It looks a little smoggy, but this place is insanely humid and down in a valley, so I think (I hope) it’s just hazy. Actually, I’ve noticed the haze a lot less now that the weather is cooler. In the second photo, if you look closely at the building just right of center, the short one, you can see that it says 101. That’s our building! Our balcony faces away from the camera.

The next five photos are from Mike’s and my second trip to Seoraksan over the long holiday weekend. The place was packed, so we ended up clambering up the (mostly) dry riverbed to avoid the crowd. More gorgeous views, more stairs. Mike is posing with the giant Buddha at the bottom of the mountain, sporting the patch job done on his shin by a kindly old Korean man.

The three photos with the beautiful foliage are from last weekend. We went with Mihyun, Ben, and Su Jong to a smaller mountain (the name escapes me) in an area famous for its salmon. We spent the afternoon climbing and then had some really fresh, really RAW fish mixed with all kinds of veggies and sauces. It was incredibly good.

The final two are in memory of my Korean man-pants, which were cheap and could not withstand the sharp rocks I was slithering over. By the time I made it down the mountain, I was only wearing half a pair of pants. I had to cover myself with a sweater so they would let me in the restaurant. It was extremely classy, and I was a proud representative of my country (as always).

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Here are a few things I’ve learned about Gangneung in the last week:

1. Buying jeans in my size = difficult and depressing.  After a searching in three different stores and only coming up with offerings that were too short and/or too tight, I finally asked a shop girl if there were any larger sizes I was missing. She made the negative Korean “X” symbol at me and pointed ominously to the men’s section. At least boy jeans are kind of hip here.

2. Buying fruit on the street = cheap and easy. I stopped and bought a big basket of tomatoes and some bananas on my way home. The stooped, toothless old lady selling them grinned at me and packed them all up very nicely, but was apparently rudely familiar by using the shortened version of “thank you” (감사 “kamsa”), rather than the complete one (감사합니다 “kamsahabnida”). Maybe she figured I wouldn’t notice.

3. Fermented rice wine = sweet and delicious. I’d heard about makalee and thought it sounded horrible. When it was served it looked exactly like brown rice milk and I was trying to think of reasons not to drink it all through the toast, but it turned out to be fantastic! Apparently the hangovers are notorious, but it was good enough that several teachers poured the leftovers into plastic water bottles to take home. Yes, even me. Korean teachers = sneaky.

4. Not having a Korean social security number = inconvenient and annoying. In person, you just flash your ARC (alien resident card) to prove you’re legal and everything is fine. But online it can be a problem. I just tried to register on a snowboarding forum to see if I can find some used equipment and discovered (after painstaking translation) that my foreigner ID number won’t cut it. It was almost a problem when I signed up for my cellphone plan too. I wonder what getting a credit card would be like (not that I want one)?

5. Ashtanga yoga in Korean = humbling and hard. It felt amazing to get back in a studio, but I’m sadly out of practice. My new teacher is scary and tough and speaks no English beyond “ok” and “relax,” but she seemed to have no problems manhandling (ladyhandling?) me into position. The class is tiny and she’s already pinpointed some problem spots I’ve been working on (or have been avoiding working on) for a while. Huge workout for the body, even more for the ego. I’m going back tonight.

As for this afternoon, I plan to take it extremely easy. We have a half day because of midterm exams, and it’s raining and cold. I’m lazy and it’s quiet and someone in the office is playing Bob Marley over her computer speakers. This bodes well.

It seems that where money is concerned, things can never quite go smoothly. We were paid on September 25th via direct deposit, as promised, but did not receive the correct amount of 2 million won. We also didn’t receive a pay stub. We asked my co-teacher for one, and finally got it on Monday. As expected some money had been taken out for our insurance and pension, but over and above that we were 100,000 won short. I emailed our local program coordinator to double-check the amount that we were supposed to receive, and he confirmed that we had been shorted. So, we reluctantly took it up with my co-teacher. She pulled out a program manual from 2004 which gave the amount we had been paid as the starting salary for English teachers…4 years ago! We compared it to our contracts, and she made a call. By that afternoon, things had been straightened out, but we won’t get our missing 100,000 won until next month. We’ll probably have to ask for a pay stub then too.

In other news, I had an amazing experience last night. After Korean class (which is really hard and not even a little enjoyable and full of people debating the proper terms of address IN THE US/UK AND NOT IN KOREA EVEN THOUGH THIS IS A KOREAN CLASS) I met up with the ethics teacher from my school and another American teacher for a facial/massage extravaganza. Hyun Ju, the ethics teacher, is a good friend of the owner of the establishment, so we were given a discount and lots of personal attention.

First we had tea and looked through a book of services, and finally agreed on Hyun Ju’s favorite, for 30,000 won (right now, that’s just under $25). We were then given little green sandals and green strapless dresses that felt like hospital gowns, and ushered into a little alcove to change. We were reminded to remove our underwear, though I have no idea why. Then they laid us down on comfy tables and the owner prodded our faces and presumably outlined a strategy. She asked us the cause of our breakouts and if we used any depilatories or waxes, and then seemed satisfied and called in two adorable employees in matching dresses. My face was washed, smoothed, washed again and I swear she even poppped pimples. This woman now knows my face better than I do. It was unnerving and fantastic all at once. Then she washed my face again and gave me a ten minute ear, face and neck massage with lotion. It was one more wash after that, followed by a steam towel, and at last a light mask which she covered in wax paper, leaving only my nostrils exposed for breathing. I didn’t mind, as she proceeded to use the strongest hands imaginable for such a tiny person to massage my back (without rolling me over!), chest, and arms for 15 minutes or so.

Next it was off with the mask and another wash, massage, steam towel, and wash again. There was even some sort of exfoliator, followed by another wash, and then more lotion. She left for a moment at that point, returning to apply soft, wet gauze strips that smelled like green tea over my entire face. Then she smoothed a thick mud mask over everything - even my eyelids and lips. I couldn’t move my face. After that she abandoned me for a while, which was okay. I sort of dozed for a bit, and woke up to her saying “han-duh massa-gi.” Ok, ma’am. Hand massage it is. She did lovely, relaxing things to my hands, wrists, and arms for ten minutes or so, and then removed the gauze strips. “Hello!” she said, as I blinked at the lights overhead. Hello. I love you. Don’t ever stop massaging me.

She washed my face one last time, and applied some moisturizer. I got one more neck massage and a head rub, and then she pulled on my arms for a while, and massaged my armpits (which felt weirdly good). Then she had me sit up and she bent my back and pounded on my shoulders with her fists for a while, and finally said “Thank you.” Thank me? Thank you! I told her over and over, in English and Korean, how grateful I was, but she seemed kind of glad to be rid of me. Maybe she’s showered with gratitude by pleasure-doped clients every day. Or maybe it’s just that my skin holds untold horrors that you can only see at close range.

Run! Save yourselves!

The whole thing took about an hour and a half. I changed my clothes and hung out in the lobby with the owner, Stephanie, Hyun Ju and Hyun Ju’s gorgeous three year old daughter (who decided I was a scary monster but liked me anyway) for a while, then blissfully pedaled home. I slept great and today my skin is all glowy. I’m tempted to do this monthly.

Sorry that I couldn’t get my descriptions to show up with the photos on the previous post. The plugin I’m using doesn’t show them, and I was sick of screwing with it. It was bad enough trying to get all my photos to appear right side up. So! If you’re curious about any of them, just ask. They span about a month, I think…end of August till now.

Things are finally settling into a rhythm here. After some turmoil over lesson plans I think I’ve got things mostly under control. I know where a few decent bars are, and some good food (pork and lamb and cow, oh my!), and even a dim, fragrant little coffee shop with good music that actually offers BLACK tea.

I went out on the town last Friday night and met a few good expats. There is such a community of them here, doing such beautiful things. I was invited to join a dance studio (dancing will get you everywhere, everywhere you go) by a girl and her DJ boyfriend, and given the local roster by a guy who’s been here since 2002. I kept thinking of the “50% rule,” (anyone else heard of this?) which says that of all the expats in a given place, 50% of them are there because they are complete outcasts in their home countries. Hmmm…wonder which half I fall under?

The weather is beginning to change, I think. Still crazy humid and prone to rain, but the last few days have been cooler and breezier. Fall is starting to tease me again, energy replacing the drowsy lethargy of summer. I’m craving apples and scarves and marching bands. I think I’ll go climb something tonight.

We’re getting paid this week! That means dishes, and curtains, and yoga! We are also getting our new wallpaper this week, and maybe our housewarming party after that (it’s rude not to have one, apparently). Added bonus: the students are getting ready for their exams in two weeks, so my teaching load is a lot lighter. I’ve also just found out that my birthday is a fun day for teachers, so we’ll be drinking and playing kick ball. This place is insane!

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Also, for the curious, Mike has posted pictures of our apartment.

Today, as a result of the unfortunate false positive on our drug tests (heroin, anyone?), we had to test again. It was made very clear to us that we would not be testing for HIV this time, since we had already had our blood tested and proclaimed negative. Now, I am not a fan of having my blood drawn, let alone here where no one wears gloves (seriously) and they don’t even give you a cookie afterward. The first time was horrible. I am still bruised. I worked through Mr. Hyun, our co-teacher du jour, to explain to everyone (when we payed, before the urine test, every time in between) that I would not be taking an HIV test today. I was assured that they were only doing the drug test. Fine, I said. Fantastic. No blood. No needles.

Imagine my surprise when I came out of the bathroom with my steaming plastic cup and was told to sit. Sit by the stern, gloveless woman with the needle.

No, I said.

Please to sit.

No. Absolutely not. No HIV. Already tested. NO.

I had to call Mr. Hyun over and explain it to him again. He explained it to needle woman. She disagreed. He then had to call yet another co-teacher. She verified that we had already tested negative and had the paperwork to prove it. So poor Mr. Hyun went to bat for me again. Apparently this is an immigration issue…the terms of our visa state that we have to pass these two tests. Great. I understand. I already passed. Just ask the other hospital. So they did! They called the other hospital and verified that I am indeed virus-free. So no needle for me! Mr. Hyun even got my money back for the HIV test (I didn’t ask him to do that…that was definitely above and beyond).

I thanked him profusely and told him he was my hero. He laughed and said it was his pleasure. So YAY for Mr. Hyun! YAY for un-tapped veins!

Also, YAY for the brand new cellphone that I love like a newborn! It is the coolest cellphone I have ever owned. I even got my students to help me program it. It can’t receive calls from the US, but if you’re in Korea and want to call, let me know!

More pictures to come, I swear.

I am apparently very bad at blogging. Sorry! I keep waiting until I can post pictures, but I’m not really able to do that at school, and I don’t feel like it when I get home. So I have decided to just post SOMETHING and then do a big, fat picture post later. Sound good? Good.

So a lot has been going on. We’re getting settled in, finally, with only a few more basics to take care of. Still no cellphone (the withdrawl symptoms worsen every day), but we’re going out with Sunny to get one tonight. Still no dishes, but we’re waiting until we get paid. Still no house-warming party, but we’re honestly just putting that off. Need to do it soon, though, since it’s expected of us. Everybody has been bending over backwards to make us comfortable, so the least we can do is feed them. I’m thinking maybe black bean burgers and sweet-potato fries? Salad? I am desperately missing fresh veggies. We had this incredible Thai-style chicken salad at lunch yeserday and I thought I would weep with joy.

The food really is spectactular here, and it seems like all we do is eat. Sometimes the students’ parents send us something to eat in the lounge, or another teacher will bring cookies, or peaches, or apples, or the magnificent purple grapes that I’ve been seeing everywhere. They have really thick skins and two gigantic seeds each, but I’ve learned the art of eating them. You put them in your mouth to break the skin, then pull the skin out, leaving the gooey fleshy part. You eat that, then spit the seeds into your hands. There’s always a huge plate of grapes, and next to them a bowl of discarded skins and seeds. Eating that way feels incredibly decadent. I love being invited by the ladies to sit around, eat grapes and slowly work our way through a conversation. Travel and my crazy necklaces seem to be the most popular topics.

My students are hilarious and wonderful. I have ten classes of 7th graders and five classes of 8th graders. I see about half of my 7th graders twice a week, and the rest of the 7th and 8th grade only once. I co-teach most of my classes, but a few are all mine. I love to be the happy fun teacher (I would lose my mind if I weren’t), but I get a big kick out of being the disciplinarian. Most recently, I’ve begun making fun of them for imitating me. Tell them they sound like a girl and they never do it again. On the other side of the spectrum I have kids falling all over themselves to get some attention. They are really quite witty sometimes, especially if their English is good, and they catch a lot of the jokes I make. I got a marriage proposal in class today, and when I told him he had to grow a beard first (it’s a big joke that Mike has a beard…they’re all fascinated by it), he promptly used his friend’s hair to cover his chin. Hilarious!

So I’m happy. Quite happy. There’s been some craziness with money and drugs (check out Mike’s blog for those stories - I can’t be bothered) but things seem to be sorting themselves out so I’m not too worried. We have quite a good network here. The school gave us bikes so we can get around, and this weekend is Chuseok (Korean Thanksgiving) so we have Monday and Tuesday off school. The plan is to head up to Geojin to reunite with some of the orientation folks (can’t wait!). Also, Mike is going to start brewing beer! Life is good, ya’ll.

So much going on!!! We left Konkuk University on Friday morning and headed across Gangwon-do province. In Yang-yang we met up with the teachers who went through the provincial teaching office, rather than the national, as Mike and I did. I would like to have been at that training, I think, as they learned some Korean writing and didn’t have to choke down Seoul’s smog. Of course, we did get to meet some lovely people and and picked up some good teaching ideas. We also lived and ate for free for a little over a week, so I have absolutely nothing to complain about (now that I’m gone, haha).

After a short awards ceremony (for which we were sadly underdressed), we were accosted by a pair of Korean teachers, Mrs. Lee (my co-teacher) and Mr. Kim (Mike’s). Mrs. Kim impressed me so much by leaning close and saying “We can do anything if we respect each other. We must tell each other right away if we have any problems and always have respect.” After about 50 minutes in Mr. Kim’s Looney Car of Doom we arrived at Gyeong-po beach. We had to spend two nights in a hotel, since the outgoing teacher, Paul, had not yet vacated. Mr. Kim left quickly for a meeting, but Mrs. Lee took us to dinner and made us feel completely at ease. She told me that I remind her of Anne of Green Gables. My name is now Ann, since Erin is too difficult for everybody to pronounce. Hilarious.

On Saturday we had to be at school first thing in the morning to meet our principal and vice principal. That was awkward, and I noticed that while everybody seemed to be on joking terms with them, the two principals were the only people leaning back in the comfy chair provided. Everyone else (including us) perched on the edges. One teacher, Niko, wouldn’t even sit directly next to the president. She kept scooting down and trying to get someone else to sit by him.

On Sunday we made it to our apartment, only to discover that Paul had not yet moved out and had completely trashed the apartment. It was filthy. There were flies. It smelled. Mr. Kim and Byeong-oh(k) - another English teacher - were embarrassed and angry. When I mentioned it to Mrs. Lee today, she told me that Paul was supposed to have hired a cleaning lady. Instead, he left us moldy dishes in the sink and a pile of dog crap in one of the bedrooms. I wish I were exaggerating. Mike and I spent our first night in our new place cleaning it from top to bottom and replacing the disgusting sheets and pillows we had to throw away.

Today was our first day at Gangneung Boys’ Middle School. That is correct: I am teaching hyperactive male 7th and 8th graders. First thing this morning we all met in the communal teachers’ lounge/office (we each have our own cubicles with desks and computers) and Mike and I were introduced and had to say a few words. I didn’t understand a word of the rest of the meeting, but the teachers have all been incredibly welcoming and friendly. My cubicle mate even gave me a box of coffee and tea and taught me how to use the crazy hot water dispenser (1 button cold, 2 buttons hot).

My first two classes of the day were 8th graders with Mrs. Lee, and they went incredibly well. I had the high level classes, while Mike did the low level. I think I was luckier. I put a list of words on the board and had them guess why those words were important to me (red=favorite color, chocolate=favorite candy, etc.) and then we made sentences on the board. Then I asked them to guess which were true statements and which were lies. They stayed on task for the most part, and Mrs. Lee was pleased, which I suppose is what really matters here. Just before lunch I had 7th graders which was rough. They were all over the place and I had to resort to competition to get them to pay attention. The teachers I have worked with so far are vary lax in their discipline. There is never silence, just a low murmur of cracking teenage voices. The students are apparently allowed to hit and touch each other all the time. Actually, I’m surprised at how physical these boys are with each other…lots more cuddles and hugs than punches.

Lunch was better than at the university, and apparently I am the slowest eater in Korea. No one has ever told me that I eat too slowly before.

Now I have another hour of break time, and then another 7th grade class. I think Mike and I might venture our to get a wireless router tonight, so we can finally get connected at the apartment!